Muscle Memory 2 – It begins on July 18th

Image by Martin Roberts

Starting next Monday, July 18th 2011, I will begin posting here on this blog the sequel/continuation of my debut novella, MUSCLE MEMORY, which will bear this title inspired by Hollywood and as voted on by the readers -

“MUSCLE MEMORY 2: More Muscle, More Memory”

If you haven’t read the Muscle Memory yet, get you a copy on Amazon.com. (or Barnes & Noble.com, or really, any other online outlet) Amazon currently shows the book as 2-3 weeks out, but they’ve re-ordered and will begin shipping copies much sooner than 2-3 weeks, so it won’t really be that long. If it does take that long, then just email me and I’ll send you a free gift to say I’m sorry. But it won’t take that long.

CLICK HERE TO BUY A COPY FROM AMAZON

Here’s what is coming over the next several weeks, the publishing schedule for Muscle Memory 2:

- July 18th: Part IV – “Well, That Didn’t Work”

- August 1st: Part V – “Roadtrip!”

- August 8th: Part VI – “Matt Lauer, Muthafucka!”

- August 15th: Part VII – “WWKCD? (What Would Kirk Cameron Do?)”

What are advance readers saying about Muscle Memory 2?

“I hope to be reading serialized parts of this story for the rest of my life. I love this shit, man. It’s almost too awesome for words… Two thumbs up.” - Caris O’Malley, author of The Egg Said Nothing

“I was finishing it up in the elevator at work this morning and trying hard not to laugh out loud at Kirk Cameron’s dialogue so I wouldn’t look like a psycho laughing to himself. Then, just as I compose myself, I look to my right, and this dude has the most beautiful mullet I’ve ever seen. I mean it was just perfect. Then I remembered Kirk Cameron’s mullet from Growing Pains, and I lose it. I lower my head and make this weird farting noise with my mouth, then bust into this retarded sounding giggle. Mullet just glared at me.” - Kevin Wallis, author of Beneath the Surface of Things

And finally, I will begin work on an extra special short story, as clamored for by you, the readers. Everyone’s favorite character from Muscle Memory will get to tell his own story. It will be tentatively titled: “The Man Who Was a Ewe: The Tale of Edgar Winter”. More details on that project soon…

Book review: Beneath the Surface of Things by Kevin Wallis

Let’s begin this review with a disclaimer: I have known Kevin Wallis for as long as I have been seriously writing fiction, almost two years now. Even though I haven’t met or spoken with him in person yet, I consider him a good friend, and the bestest of all my imaginary Internet friends. In the time I have known him, I have read many, many of his stories and helped him with several, as he has done for me.

Kevin’s first book, a collection of those dark, speculative, suspenseful stories, is called Beneath the Surface of Things. Take my comments for what they are worth, but I consider Kevin to be an excellent writer, which he proves in this book. As I mentioned, I’ve already read much of what is here when it was in its first stages. I’ve pondered several of these tales and offered Kevin my own thoughts and suggestions. When I got the book a few months before it was published, I had the joy of going through and re-reading them. I continually found myself recalling each story as I came to it, and then continuing on because, even though I knew how it would end already, I wanted to take the journey one more time.

I can say from first hand experience that Kevin’s work will stick with you for days, months, even years after you read them. This is an eclectic, entertaining, and satistfying collection of stories, packed with unsettling scenarios, emotional resonance, and characters everyone can relate to and can’t help but root for. One of the best collections I’ve read this year.

Coming Soon from Kevin Wallis…

A new short story collection called BENEATH THE SURFACE OF THINGS will be out soon from author Kevin Wallis. He’s a hell of a writer and a hell of a guy and I encourage everyone to check this out when it’s released in September.

To get a taste of Wallis (take it easy you bunch of filthy-minded buggers), Click this link to read a freebie from BENEATH, a story called Redemption Song.

Kevin was also kind enough to read my upcoming novella WOLVES DRESSED AS MEN and offer these words of support: “Lowe takes the tense action and brutal violence of quality werewolf fiction, then adds characters the reader will grow to love and hate in equal measure. He strips back the outer flesh and fur of a lycanthrope and delves deep into his protagonist’s inner pain, giving the reader a close-up view of the turmoil within the beast and the struggle inside the man. With both horror and humor, and an ending as powerful as it is satisfying, Lowe’s novella debut will create many new fans.”

2-Minute Drill: Kevin Wallis

Today’s unwitting subject for public scrutiny is a man known as much for his prodigious manhood as he is for his prodigious collection of published work. He is an author, the fiction editor for Liquid Imagination, and somewhat of a legend. Today, we dispel all the rumors and get to the man behind the balls.

The 2-Minute Drill is 5 quick questions and 5 quick answers from someone you probably haven’t heard of, but should hear from. This isn’t some rambling, long-winded author interview here. We dispense with the pleasantries and get down to brass tacks. We ask the tough questions and get the tough answers that you need to know.

Wallis

Ladies and gentlemen, primates and inmates, and men without pubic hair, we give you Kevin Wallis, a man whose balls are rumored to be rather large. As online rumors tend to go, some of the things said and written about Kevin’s testiculars has been rather outlandish. In the interest of informing the general public of knowledge that has heretofore only been disseminated in a few private circles of the Internet, here are a few confirmed facts about Kevin Wallis’s massive balls:

- They were required by the city of Houston and the state of Texas to be registered as concealed (and obviously loaded) weapons.

- They qualify as a 503c charitable organization and are eligible for federal grant money.

Chicago's tribute to Kevin's balls

- The left ball served as a model for Chicago’s famous reflective bean, which many thousands of people stare longingly at and takes pictures of every year.

- When not encased in special lead-lined underwear, they have their own scientifically-measured gravitational pull and small particles have been known to orbit them.

- They were the obvious inspiration for this song.

- They emit a natural scent of honey and roasted nuts (naturally).

* Note to the readers: Please abstain from inquiring how the above information was gathered and confirmed. We are more than a little ashamed of the process and also genuinely frightened by the emotions it has stirred within the well of our soul. Thank you.

Now, on with the Drill…

2-MD: Is there ever a conversation where your balls DON’T come up?

KW: Rarely, but it’s a curse my family has grown used to over the centuries, from Chief Hung Like Moose, Tony “Thunder Groin” Wallis of Irish Mafia fame, the 1956 light featherweight champion Bobby “Jumbo Scrote” Wallis, the recently paroled Reverend Lester “Boulder Sack” Wallis, and the infamous and unfortunate Edith “Those Aren’t Tumors” Wallis.

2-MD: Seriously though, besides your prodigious testicular proclivities, you’re also the fiction editor for Liquid Imagination and a published writer with your own short story collection in the works. With all that you’re trying to accomplish, do you find it difficult to type with your balls in the way, or do they actually do the work for you?

KW: I recently had NASA design a custom-made computer desk, chair, and arm extensions so I can reach the keyboard better. And the divot between my two bad boys makes an ideal spot to place a beer, a small dog, or perhaps a picture of Bogey while I write.

2-MD: OK, OK, enough about the balls. Sorry. How about a serious question: Is it true that there ain’t no party like a west coast party because a west coast party don’t stop? If yes, why?

KW: It all depends. If you throw your hands in the air, and wave ‘em like you just don’t care, keep on rockin’ to the beat and shake your derriere, then it’s true. Square-dancing helps too.

2-MD: Who would win this three-legged race – Mary Kate & Ashley Olsen vs. John Holmes?

KW: It’d be a tie, because if I know John Holmes, and I think I do, they would all cross the finish line stuck together as a single moaning and groaning entity.

2-MD: You’ve often said that Steve Lowe is your greatest inspiration and the very reason you took up writing in the first place. Is that true, and just what kind of influence has he had on you, both professionally and spiritually?

KW: Due to the fact that I’m at work, and I don’t want to cry in front of my patients, I will let the immortal Peter Cetera answer this one for me.

Oh God, let it end. We may never be the same after that experience, and we’ll likely be suing Kevin Wallis for it. But until we contact our lawyers on that matter, let’s thank Kevin for sharing his enormous wealth of knowledge with us. We would link to something of his for you to read, but in his grand haughtiness, his work is only available in print, so you’ll have to go buy Abaculus III from Leucrota Press.

Kevin's balls completed the New York Marathon in just over 4 hours.